How long have I been trying to do this; find the right phrases to explain how alone and awkward I feel? Seems like forever. Every once in a while it gets rewarded with some false sense of home. But, maybe that’s my fault…getting too comfortable. Maybe I’ve been wrong all along and the smiles are never worth the scars. Maybe before taking chances I should stop to remember that memories can’t hold me, they can barely hold me together. 

But, what about the moments when I see myself in her? Even if I don’t speak up, my gaze says it all. “How long have I been trying to do this; find the phrases to explain how you make awkward and alone feel right? A smile that seems like forever, and a hold that feels like home.”

How long have I been trying to do this?

Well, when did we meet?